we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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