how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
