I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
