Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
