im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
