She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
