Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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