I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The uberlube is also flammable
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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