fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
