Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
