I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
