She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
