How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
