She went from zero to smokin in five shots
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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