Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
