do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
