theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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