Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize