I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
