whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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