i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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