I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
