She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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