So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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