You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
