i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
