You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
