I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Randomize
