Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
