I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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