is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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