I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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