doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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