You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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