Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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