You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
