awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize