he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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