Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
