I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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