dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
