Your mouth is God's brothel.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
