even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
