So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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