People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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