If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
