I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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