you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
