I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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