sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
