No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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