Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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