Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
