yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
