Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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