i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's always time for handjobs
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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