I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
