Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize