More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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