Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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