I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there was a trapeze. enough said
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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