Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
