Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
