Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She even gives head with a lisp.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
