i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
