Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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