I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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