when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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