Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
