i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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