im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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