so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize