she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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